You're Way Too High: Now What Do You Do?

Posted by Dallas Belser on

 

Ever been way too high? Ya know, that kinda high where you wish you could just return to your normal sober state for the love of GOD? For most stoners, the act of “greening out” occurs in their lives at least once. 

Rapid Heart Rate.

Paranoia.

Tingly sensations.

Panic attacks.

Yup, I’ve been there, and it REALLY fucking sucks. The first time I’ve ever greened out was my sophomore year of high school in a car hotbox with three other people. It was around early-to-mid February back in 2015. I took one too many hits from this girl’s bubbler and I was simply gone. The car was smokey as hell and the world just felt like a mixture of real life and animation. That may not be the most exact description of my experience but for now it’s the best way that I can articulate it. I remember staring at my senior friend Emily in the backseat, wondering what the fuck I just smoked. She giggled a bit and said, “He’s trippin’!”.

I waved my arm in front of my face and I started to see double. Then random numbers appeared in front of my eyes. I got out of the car and reality just felt… funny. I was so paranoid that my shit was laced, but I was assured that it wasn’t. Till this day five years later, I’m not entirely sure. However, I do have to keep in a mind that I wasn’t a huge stoner yet and my tolerance was quite baby-level. Everyone else was completely fine.

Oh, and for the record, do NOT let anyone tell you that you cannot trip off weed. Most people don’t think of weed as a psychedelic, but if you smoke enough and you don’t have the highest tolerance then you can have a mildly psychedelic experience. You may not trip ball sack like with LSD or Magic Mushrooms from the average joint, but do not under any circumstances underestimate weed, especially if it has a high THC percentage. Take your time, understand and acknowledge your tolerance limits, and remember that you can stop smoking at any time you want. You are never obligated to finish smoking in a sesh regardless of any peer pressure. 

I have more flashbacks from my high school stoner days where kids (including myself) would just get extremely high off cannabis just because we could. Around my junior year  kids would make a device out of water bottles called a “Waterfall”. A waterfall bong is made when you burn one or several little holes at the bottom of a water bottle. From there you melt and poke through the middle of the bottle cap to stick in a bowl or metal socket that you will fill with a little bit of weed. You then gotta cover all the holes while you fill the bottle up with water, and after that you screw on the cap with the bowl sticking through it. You light the bowl and as you light it you release your fingers to let the water drain. The bottle will fill with milky smoke and once all or most of the water is drained, you unscrew the cap and inhale as much smoke as you can handle.

 

We’d be so fucked up off these motherfuckers, but we didn’t care! We just got a thrill from getting super fried for whatever dumb teenage reason. Jokes aside, I understand that a lot of teens and adults alike get stupid fried like that because it subconsciously helps them cope with life, but nowadays as an “adult” I can’t even fathom wanting to do another waterfall for fun any time soon. About two months ago I did it at my friend Zach’s crib and boy was I fucking zooted to another planet! That’s how high I was. I started off kneeling over his toilet coughing and almost about to vomit. I sat on the couch and knew I was gonna be completely fucked. 

 

A couple moments later my body felt very strange! I gained awareness of my rapid heartbeat and I began to experience some odd tingling throughout my body. I was so freaked out! As of now, that ranks as the number one scariest high I have ever experienced. I’ve had some frightening weed-related experiences back in my day, but this one just took the goddamn cake. I had a panic attack and started to walk around in circles in Zach’s kitchen, trying to calm myself down. I even remember asking him where he got it from and looked at the weed to make sure it was not laced. My paranoia went up to Level 1,000 and it was a place I never want to venture off to ever again. After a couple minutes of freaking out, I laid on the couch while watching tv. I went to sleep and when I woke up I called an uber to go home and then I went back to sleep.

I was perfectly fine.

So…

THIS IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU GET TOO STONED

You’re smoking with friends and they rolled up three blunts of some of the dankest bud in town. You’re just chillin’ and vibin’, and all of a sudden you realize that you’re WAY TOO fried. What do ya do? How do you cope?? This can be pretty darn scary, but you will make it out of this. 

One of the very first things I like to do when I get too stoned is to constantly remind myself that every second that passes is a second closer to sobriety. Also, remember that it’s just weed and that no one has ever died from it. Paranoid that your weed was laced? Unless you bought it from someone that was super shady, odds are, it’s not. 

Here’s why: 

Lacing drugs costs extra money for drug dealers. Why spend more money to buy a drug to lace weed with and THEN sell that weed for a regular price? You can just find people that would actually want the laced weed and sell it for a higher price. Whether if that’ll be easy or difficult to do, I have no fucking clue. I am not a drug dealer.

On top of that, your average weed dealer has enough common sense to not increase the odds of going to prison. Selling weed on the black market is already illegal in a lot of states, so why lace it with crack or PCP when that’ll most likely increase the risk of serving a longer sentence if you do get caught? If someone dies from smoking laced weed, that can be traced back to the dealer which obviously will not be good. Yeah, there’s a chance that you can buy off an asshole that would lace your weed without your knowledge or consent, but the chances are low contrary to War on Drugs propaganda. 

 

 

 

If you feel too high, most of the time music helps. Play something happy. I try to avoid sad music if I’m too fried because that will affect my mood and cause me to overthink my life in a very negative way. Sometimes the song itself will be totally fine, but the way the beat sounds can affect how I feel without me even realizing it. Nice and fun music can distract you from panicking your ass off. A good show or movie is always good to pass the time. Ever seen the cult classic stoner comedy “Friday”? Great movie starring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker. Go watch it. Then go watch the two sequels after that. Thank me later.

 

 

I almost forgot to mention this, but have some CBD with you if you can! You can get CBD flower, edibles, vapes, etc. CBD is known for relaxing you and reducing anxiety. A lot of people use CBD specifically for the event that they get way too high as it is non-psychoactive and will NOT get you high. From personal experience, it mellows me out and works wonders in making my highs calmer and more clear-headed. I also suggest learning about cannabis terpenes and how they can also make your highs better.

Take deep breaths and realize that you will return to your normal state eventually. You’re completely fine. You’re not overdosing. People out in public don’t know that you’re high and even if they do, most of them won’t care. Your heart isn’t going to just stop beating out of nowhere. You’re good, fam. You are okay.

If you tend to smoke in more of a social setting, make sure you’re surrounded with kind people that will be patient with you when you green out and not those that will either mock you, be annoyed with you,  or just straight up abandon you. If you’re alone, try to get comfortable on the couch or under the covers in your bed. Like I said before, play some good music, think happy thoughts, and just get in your nice little zone. You’ll probably have the munchies so go to the fridge or pantry and dig out! Just be considerate of other people in the house. Don’t be the dick that eats up all the Cinnamon Toast Crunch in a day.

Cannabis can be very beneficial to you but it can also take your mind to some scary or dark places if you are not careful. Understand that everyone has a unique tolerance, so if you know you’re a lightweight maybe it won’t be a good idea to take 5 milky bong rips in a row. Stick to smaller baby hits instead. I hope by the end of reading this you now know that you easily prevent yourself from greening out, and even if you actually do green out, you still know how you can help yourself. It can be a frightening experience, but you absolutely WILL sober up again! Until next time!

 

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